I don’t really know what to do anymore. People ask me to trust them and I say no; I say no because I’ve learned not to. But eventually, one comes along who grinds me down…and then lets me down soon after.
I feel so alone, so desperately alone that at times I just don’t think I can do this anymore. Sometimes it hurts just to breathe; to voluntarily keep myself in trapped within this chaotic existence. It feels like there is no out. No way forward and no way back…so that I’m just stuck here in the middle of the in between, with both walls closing in on me at once.
I want to go, I need to go…but where? There is no place in this world where I can go that will protect me from the memories inside my mind. They’re here forever, but I don’t have to be. If I disappear then they will too; what a distasteful thought to have weighed upon your mind but yet a truthful one at that. I’m lost but I cannot be found, because there is no-one left here to be seen. I have already found my place amongst the shadows.